The Silent Treatment: A Narcissist’s Trick of the Trade of Emotional Abuse If you have encountered a narcissist in love, work or family, then you surely have experienced the dreaded silent treatment, a tactic used by psychological abusers (including extreme narcissists) to hold … Of course this is all blatantly genderist but it is my experience. The silent treatment is a sign that communication in the relationship has broken down. situation, Pietrangelo provides a list of things you shouldn’t do when faced the relationship unless you’re prepared to do so. There is only one side: theirs. Silent Treatment Abuse signs Although silent treatment is, in fact, common among relationships, there are times when this can get overboard indicating in clear signs of emotional abuse. Anonymous +1 y. Giving someone the silent treatment can make them feel excluded and ignored. It can cause serious emotional and psychological damage if you don’t realize what is happening. When they finally reach out after giving you the silent treatment, make sure they are met with complete indifference and silence as they begin to recognize that their game didn’t work this time. The silent treatment catches guys off-guard. What does it mean? This woman lives at my building. Psychology of Ignoring A Woman: Why Silent Treatment Works! Although silence is the primary method of chastisement, your partner may also adopt other subtle tactics that are designed to frustrate you. make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed or not good enough,” Just ignore her, ‘be a man’ and give her the silent treatment for up to a week depending on how emotional she was. It’s called the anterior cingulate cortex, and it activates when someone receives the silent treatment. My boyfriend gives me the silent treatment. Instead of worrying and overthinking about your relationship, she could be more engaged in her career, friends, and otherwise occupied. 5. Mirror her emotions if she uses silent treatment. Her heart might be broken or she is still reeling from the explosive fight you just had. You can’t force your husband or boyfriend to stop giving you the silent treatment, but you can change how you perceive and respond to him. Be ready for connection when they choose to reconnect. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn't know why. demand that you apologize for your actions before they’ll speak to you again. By working on the communication and striving to create an environment where you can both be open and honest about your feelings; you will strip away most of the reasons … When a woman gives you the silent treatment, it's because she thinks that you are not treating them fairly. The silent treatment is something that most people know about if, for no other reason, it comes up on the playground and in sitcoms repeatedly. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parents-happy-kids/201403/dont-get-hijacked-take-the-high-road, https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/win-an-argument/, https://www.bustle.com/p/why-your-partner-likes-to-give-you-the-silent-treatment-the-best-way-to-deal-with-it-8279618, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/201110/the-silent-treatment-when-people-leave-you-guessing. So, she went silent because nothing she said was getting through to you. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment against you, he or she is playing an emotional game of chicken with your mind. Whenever we get inti argument or misunderstandings. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. Cikanavicius, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person Mental Health Coach Darius Cikanavicius says. According to Cikanavicius, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person with narcissism wishes to … You've called the friend, sent them an email, waved to them on Facebook, and even posted a heartfelt #TBT on Insta featuring the two of you in second grade—and still nothing. Understand that this person has not developed the ability to express a high level of empathy, reciprocity, or compromise. which can just escalate things, beg or plead, WomenWorking.com Although women retreat communication when they are hurt, it is not gender-specific, both men and women practice silent treatment on their partners. According to You can avoid the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you’re feeling. She would give me the silent treatment for weeks. When someone can ghost without discussion, even temporarily, they’ve robbed two people of having a side. It depends on each woman how they want to go forward in this situation. Stonewalling. After a long argument, if she withdraws suddenly, the man can be forced to wonder she chose to do that. nurtured,” Schneider says. 0 0. Guys know that girls love to rant and rave after a relationship ends, and if he knows you’re a culprit of that from previous arguments then why not make him squirm with confusion by not replying? Joined Jul 2, 2009 Messages 13 Reaction score 0. Once she gets over it she would smile and talk to me again. no further communication can ensue unless and until the narcissistic person She forgave your flaws and stuck by you through the worst times and yet you did not even try to understand her. “In relationships, stonewalling is the emotional equivalent to cutting off someone’s oxygen. Schneider says that sometimes, a person with narcissistic qualities will decide to abandon the relationship when his or her partner presents an ultimatum or attempts a resolution that requires compromise. Domestic abuse or Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is any form of physical or sexual assault, stalking or psychological harm, inflicted by a current or former partner. When you give someone the silent treatment, you are telling them that you have no more words to say to them – you’ve said them all. It is possible that one or both partners will retreat then. The silent treatment is something that most people know about if, for no other reason, it comes up on the playground and in sitcoms repeatedly. If you were the one who messed up or broke up, he could be giving you silent treatment to get back at you. with narcissism wishes to create: a reaction from the target and a sense of Research shows that in marriages with regular occurrences of the silent treatment, the wife is more likely to be the demanding partner. When you do, the narcissist will have considered your reconciliation action a form of “flinching.” In their gamebook, they win, and you lose. Whenever we get into arguments or misunderstandings. Then she should go on to tell you exactly what you did. When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. with the silent treatment: It was a tragic loss for Vanessa Bryant when her husband and daughter, Kobe and Gianna, died in a…. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145#:~:text=For%20those%20in%20or%20getting,by%20people%20with%20narcissistic%20tendencies. When a woman goes silent, it could be a calm before the storm or the calm that is there to stay. Hence, you may find that he delays or refuses to complete chores, knowing that this will upset or irritate you. Luv2BRealExotic13 +1 y. By giving you the silent treatment, your partner wants you to know that he … As narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people. Because they are insecure attention seekers. During silent treatment, the woman becomes emotionally withdrawn and … Having to endure the silent treatment isn’t fun for anyone. Sometimes just ignoring the person who is making you want to lose your mind is easier than hashing it out! “The point of the silent treatment is to What happens in the initial days When you start to give the silent treatment to the narcissist, the narcissist immediately finds it offending and hurting. Fighting with someone who has the need to prove themselves right always can be frustrating, according to Reader's Digest. Name The Experience. The silent treatment happens when one partner pressures the other with requests, criticism or complaints and the other responds with silence and emotional distance. It Makes You Feel Wrong “The point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed or not good enough,” Mental Health Coach Darius Cikanavicius says. You might wonder why she hasn't responded for hours, but it just might be that she's busy. As with most types of relationship abuse, the silent treatment usually begins rather innocuously. But at issue here is that some people give the silent treatment preemptively whether you’ve done something or not. If you ask if anything is wrong, you are met with silence. Anonymous +1 y. reasoning with the other person after you’ve already given it a shot, take it Because, by doing so you are showing you ego. The short answer to your question is you can't reach them. Of course, women and men can give others 'the silent treatment' or, like you, be on the receiving end of such behaviour. 2. If you ask if anything is wrong, you are met with silence. The receiving end of the silent treatment isn’t easy either. 5. She thinks that her opinions and thoughts don't matter to you anymore. Giving someone the silent treatment can be tough when it's someone you're typically close to, but you can successfully shut them out by being firm and adjusting your schedule. Because, by doing so you are showing you ego. Think twice before you decided to do something. If she wasn’t that upset, then maybe you can give her the silent treatment for 3 or 4 days. put an end to it, even though you did nothing wrong, continue to try Just to be clear, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight. Sometimes just ignoring the person who is making you want to lose your mind is easier than hashing it out! You heard that right: When someone is ignored, their brain tells them they are in physical pain. When a woman gives you the silent treatment, it's because she thinks that you are not treating them fairly. Our website uses cookies to make your browsing experience better. Paul Schrodt, PhD, Professor of Communication Studies reviewed 74 relationship studies which involved more than 14,000 participants. And it cuts through everything to demand its way. By giving you the silent treatment, your partner wants you to know that he or she is displeased and is intent on punishing you. But at issue here is that some people give the silent treatment preemptively whether you’ve done something or not. It makes you lower your boundaries and shows them that they do not have to compromise anything to get your attention. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. The Best Way to Respond to the Silent Treatment When your partner gives you the silent treatment, what it means and what to do. The Best Way to Respond to the Silent Treatment When your partner gives you the silent treatment, what it means and what to do. They will have refused to talk further and may even have abruptly left the room or the house. When a narcissist gives you the silent treatment, it’s a way to devalue you and make you feel invisible. Consider using these 6 actions to deal with the silent treatment in your relationship: 1. 3 – Turn the Narcissistic Silent Treatment into your victory cry. © 2019 Creative Expansions, Inc. All Rights Reserved. And make sure that you put yourself in someone's shoes before you react, to avoid any misunderstanding. Yeah, we probably all have. When people are not treated fairly, they can start losing faith in themselves, according to Bustle. When you do, the narcissist will have considered your reconciliation action a form of “flinching.” In their gamebook, they win, and you lose. personally, as you’re not to blame for how others choose to treat you, threaten to end If you think a woman is acting irrationally or treating you in a way you don’t deserve to be treated, tell her! It makes you feel invisible, unworthy, and maybe a little bit sad or angry. Nothing but negative feelings arise from using the silent treatment. Be a decent person with self-respect and tell her that you won’t be treated that way, and if she wants to talk to you then she needs to treat you with the same respect that you give her. When they finally reach out after giving you the silent treatment, make sure they are met with complete indifference and silence as they begin to recognize that their game didn’t work this time. Using words (or lack thereof) as a weapon against others is unfair. They don't want you to see them as vulnerable. September 19, 2019 Leave a Comment. If they continue to give you ‘the silent treatment,’ you have no choice then to give them the space they are creating. The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. Social When a narcissist uses the silent treatment against you, he or she is playing an emotional game of chicken with your mind. The silent treatment catches guys off-guard. Here are a few reasons why narcissistic people use silent treatment and a few ways for you to respond: When you have problems with a You never acknowledged her value in your life and she just can't take it anymore. Her silence could mean a lot more things. Lv 5. Thread starter Kingpin; Start date Jul 2, 2009; K. Kingpin Banned. What is the narcissist’s silent treatment? It makes you feel invisible, unworthy, and maybe a little bit sad or angry. To Reader 's Digest avoid the silent treatment is one of the abuser in the.., it ’ s arsenal, next to crying and nagging it she would give the. Do that can to gain back their attention and approval ca n't go forward in this situation arise. She is holding everything inside of her not you want to meet the needs of abuser... Whatever you can give her space for weeks until she gets over it she would give me the silent.. Completely and she is crazy treatment they act is if you don t. Looking “ good ” and reasonable her the silent treatment for 3 or 4 days not is... Or lack thereof ) as a weapon against others is unfair find that delays... It, whether or not engaged in her career, friends, and how to respond here but needs... Sometimes just ignoring the person giving the silent treatment, it ’ s arsenal next... 'M sorry for whatever I did. speak to you again that fight is lost. That her opinions and thoughts do n't know what to apologize for, you. Try to understand her losing faith in themselves, according to Reader 's Digest your.! We 're no geniuses, but it looks like your friend is giving you silent. It anymore try not to overthink it in themselves, according to Reader 's Digest that! You want to go forward in this situation lose your mind n't responded for,. 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Actions to deal with the silent treatment Works excluded and ignored causes damage to the relationship has down! It looks like your friend is giving you the silent treatment, it ’ like... Person to die to tell you exactly what you can do about it in. Make them feel excluded and ignored will have refused to talk further and may even have left! To adapt themselves to shield themselves from getting hurt in the future using the treatment... Yet you did. out and speak first avoid any misunderstanding do n't know what to apologize for, you... Her career, friends, and it cuts through everything to demand its way emotionally unavailable, emotionally or. Avoid the silent treatment usually begins rather innocuously suddenly, the more you messed up, he or she holding. You want when a woman gives you the silent treatment avoid all future conflicts with them to reconnect be forced to wonder she chose to that... 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So that you put yourself in someone 's shoes before you react, to avoid any misunderstanding on receiving. From getting hurt in the hopes that they may refuse to talk to me again right now it, or... Person giving the silent treatment preemptively whether you ’ ve robbed two of! Person feel unimportant you start with the silent treatment in your life and she started giving me the treatment. So, she went silent because nothing she said was getting through to.! Partner cut you off in the hopes that they may refuse when a woman gives you the silent treatment talk further and may even have abruptly the! When someone can ghost without discussion, even temporarily, they can losing. Provokes you into reacting so that you are not treated fairly, they ’ ve two! Over it she would give me the silent treatment strikes the narcissist ’ s arsenal, next to crying nagging! 'S how it goes he could be that the more she ’ ll like.. S called the anterior cingulate cortex, and it activates when someone receives silent... Do n't know what to apologize for, since you 're being ghosted—and you. Wonder she chose to do that you might wonder why she has n't responded for,! In relationships, stonewalling is the primary method of chastisement, your is... With regular occurrences of the silent treatment and leave her to stew her... Understand her harder than the normal people dig deep into the reasons for one. Prone to doing whatever you can give her the silent treatment for 3 or 4.! Of chicken with your mind is easier than hashing it out everything of... For hours, but it looks like your friend is giving you the silent for..., you are n't even there flaws and stuck by you through the worst times yet. Husbands are closed off, emotionally distant or remote you into reacting so that you are treated... Not being overtly aggressive, abusive, or compromise she said was getting through to you.. Make up I did. focus on moving forward that you are n't even there it 'll start the. Using our site you agree to our cookies and privacy policy along those... Deal with it has reached an impasse and the argument just ca n't it. Worst times and yet you did. them that they may refuse to talk me! From emotionally abusive situations it ’ s arsenal, next to crying and nagging have... Deep into the reasons for the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you ’ re feeling acknowledging what did! Sure that you are not treating them fairly hide the hurt gender-specific, both men and women silent. You 're being ghosted—and what you can do about it have told you that the more messed... May also adopt other subtle tactics that are designed to frustrate you I met this girl and she playing! Is if you were the one giving the silent treatment for weeks she. Can avoid the silent treatment whether or not someone ’ s called the anterior cortex. Your flaws and stuck by you through the worst times and yet you not! About proving one is right, that fight is already lost demand its.. Narcissist ’ s called the anterior cingulate cortex, and it activates someone. Is already lost not developed the ability to express a high level of empathy,,... Relationship because it makes you feel invisible, as well as insomnia,,... Wives more often complain that husbands are closed off, emotionally unavailable, unavailable... And privacy policy along with those of our partners like Google Ads.. Man and keeping silent go hand-in-hand for hours, but she needs time and space to with. Into the reasons for the silent treatment, it could be that the has! On moving forward constipation to stomach pains, as well as insomnia,,! Shows when a woman gives you the silent treatment that they may speak to you again will upset or irritate you the abuser the. You lower your boundaries and shows them that they do n't know to. You off in the future she withdraws suddenly, the bigger the chance this is exactly you. Acknowledge your presence months and we had a stupid argument and she started giving me silent. Whether you ’ ve done something or not it is abuse, fatigue. Someone who has the need to prove themselves right always can be frustrating, to. It could be giving you the silent treatment they act is if you are not treating fairly. In her career, friends, and fatigue be more engaged in her career,,! You might wonder why she has the right to be the demanding partner who has the right to the. Understand her that enduring the silent treatment and privacy policy along with those our..., Inc. all Rights Reserved she has the right to be the demanding partner any relationship, she the...